It is 4:23 am. I am sitting in Kevin's room procrastinating as he is sitting in my room studying for his psychology test tomorrow. I still have to write two pages for my government class. I don't even really understand what I'm supposed to be writing. Ideas? Zero.
I am contemplating staying up to watch the sun rise.. I have never done that before.. I think it will be beautiful and a great opportunity for me to brainstorm a new poem.
I am so lost. I stopped playing tennis a couple of months ago (well, I quit the team here at good ole's William and Mary). I'll be playing again during Christmas break and then at Boston University. Had I been playing tennis right now, I wouldn't be in this situation. The more time I have, the more I procrastinate. On the other hand, this break from tennis has been wonderful for me. I have finally broken away from identifying myself as only a tennis player... but then again, I care about tennis so much less now. It makes me wonder.. did I ever really care about tennis? or did I care much more about my identity as a tennis player? It seems that by identifying myself with a craft such as tennis, I felt priviliged and proud to have something that seperated me from the "norm" and now that I no longer see myself as 'Francine Whu, tennis player', my desire to turn pro and sacrifice my life to this sport has diminished. On the positive side, since tennis means less to me now, I will probably improve rapidly and play the best tennis of my life because I'll be playing free from pressure and expectations.
ironic.
-F
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2 comments:
wow this kevin guy seems really cool and sexy. I mean you barely mentioned him, but i could tell by the tone of the way you were speaking that he is a really great guy.
no, actually, hes a douchebag. an all-time loser.
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